sigh. sob. (relief!) tonight is my last night in instanbul. tomorrow we leave at 615 sharp for a minibus ride back to ataturk airport. and L willing, my feet will be on US soil by 9pm tomorrow night. i’ll be honest, i’m ready to come home. mostly just out of sheer exhaustion and missing (my bed! beatrice babycakes. ”real” food. etc). but, as these things always go, in that same breath, i’m already missing (my team, my new friends, the WEIGHT and urgency). i don’t think you are ever ready to leave a place that has so much impact on you and those around you. i leave with answers that were always there. and more than my fair share of questions that have been waiting, for something like this … to formally announce themselves and demand resolution. it’s like when you really love someone but know you have to break up with them. for your good. and theirs. that is how i feel about this trip. i know i have to eventually go home. and deal with the ramifications outside of the vacuum. and start living, putting them into action. it’s for my good. but i’ll miss THIS.
first stop? houstons. for the chips and spin dip, housemade veggie burger, fries and the brownie. xxoo.
goodbye, my friend July 27, 2009
your bellybutton is nasty. July 25, 2009
ok. i have no idea how this layout thing works, and quite frankly, at the moment i have bigger fish to fry. like concentrating on being cool (temp not personhood) and finding some decent american food. i’m not going to lie. i could go for a dinner at houston’s right now. spin dip, veggie bean burger with those skinny fries, and an tall iced tea. jade and i were talking the other day about our first meal back and we BOTH SAID THE SAME THING! ha! yesterday, donna, jade and i stopped by a HUGE market on the way back to the Otel. apparently it’s super rude to refuse food, so i took a MAJOR leap of F and ate directly out of the dirty hands of the vendors. each time i lifted the act up in P, pleading with J to not let me die of some random food poisoning that leaves me emaciated on the bathroom floor for days, crying, sobbing, begging to be put out of my misery. obviously i am still alive. pG! this picture of me is eating some string cheese, i think. look how i do it FULL force for the L!!!!! xxoo.
that’s so doner July 23, 2009
first off, i would like to give a hearty “teshekalar!” to cjeffers for cleaning out my blog. that was so doner! i was sitting in team-time on wednesday morning and scott mentioned something about using the “lingo”. and i’m like, “whaaaaaa??? lingo??? for reals?”. apparently it’s super serious and though i would love to be persecuted for C, i don’t want make assumptions for the rest of the team … or put the workers here in danger. i’ve had the most amazing.AMAZING conversations in the past two days with various people here. it’s been crazy incredible. and to be cliche and honest … life changing. a bunch of us are finally feeling the weight of the G. and it’s convicting beyond belief. i have to keep it short at the moment. for some reason, the wireless at the grand maltpe otel doesn’t like macs. and even though i’m getting a full signal … nothing … so i’m on donna’s. (after just pushing kate and donna’s beds together. ha! i’m sooooo doner! asian-prankster. i make prank on yoU!) and don’t have much time. kate and i are headed out to meet up with some new friends. they want to meet at mark’s and spencers, then do dinner and drinks. my kind of girls! but before i go, i would like to ask you all to p for me (and the rest of the team) as we process some information we’ve received over the course of the past two days and how this will affect the rest of our lives. G is doing a great work here and in our hearts. our prayer is that it doesn’t fade once our feet touch american soil, but instead fan into a flame that will be a large part of the end and C’s second coming. i’m sure as most of you have done some kind of overseas work in the past and know that it’s quite different to talk about working in other countries for the G and “how it’s a nice idea and definitely something that needs to be done … by someone else” vs. taking part in it and building relationships with those on the front lines. i don’t think any of us haven’t had a breakdown in the past 48 hours, purely through the HS moving in our hearts, and turning our WHOLE selves to C and the G. and what it means to really, really give up your lives for something. ok. i could go on and on about that now. but i’ll spare you for now. but i’m warning you, my friends, that i’m coming back to challenge each one of you, even if it’s just to start conversations, as TK says, “to live with an eternal perspective”.
oh, and the picture above? my lovely amazing roommate GOT FLOWERS from a dude in the states last night. they smell up the room real nice. and kudos to the dude … who really must have gone 110% completely out of his way to honor jj (jade-jenna) like this. seriously. flowers?? let’s just say we aren’t staying in the most up-and-coming part of istanbul. so it probably took a lot of wheeling and dealing to get them here. dang. so doner. xxoo.
Courtni posting on behalf of Abby July 22, 2009
hi, abby’s friends and some of mine, too.
i’m posting this on behalf of abby.
While she is in turkey it has been noticed that the govt flags most relig. and especially western relig. jargon.
72,584 word changes later i’ve made her untitled blog free of any obvious words that could be flagged.
so if you notice that some words don’t seem right it’s due simply to my changes.
also, if you are commenting on any of her blog posts please make sure to be selective about the words you use while she is there. upon her return you can let loose all of your J’s, G’s, ch’s and pr’s.
as much as it sounds jokey it is a very serious matter so please, be very mindful and keep abby in your p’s.
courtni
c2p July 21, 2009
starring: jade, alicia, erin and kate (holly MIA)
directed and produced by: abby l. coutant
casting, makeup, craft services: abby l. coutant
DP: abby l. coutant
edited: n/a
doner and dominos (pizza) July 20, 2009
attention: if anyone know where to get some good doner or durum tavuk in maltepe, please let me know asap. the problem is that the only time i’ve managed to get it is when donna is with us. and when she is not, we are sorta stuck, unless the restaurant has a picture of it posted somewhere (see above). and even then it’s not exactly what we (=jade and i) want. we want the tavuk doner / durum. which is chicken. not beef. chicken. you know, bawk. bawk. chicken (it’s quite humbling trying to describe what you want to eat by acting out the protein element in the lobby of a restaurant). Jade, JR and I set out for some doner-for-dinner. we ended up with a large cheese pizza and breadsticks from dominos. some might call this adapting to “culture shock”, we call it, “good sense”.
all in all, today was a good day. jade and i followed our calling back to bagdat street where we set up shop at the gloria jeans. as you can gather from the picture, we tried our best to look helpless and lost. it didn’t work and we struck out, oh, about 7 times. though we did get some good recommendations for some nice nightclubs on the european side. (and the advice not to go on mondays nights). when we decided to ditch gloria jeans for another gameplan, we saw a lady sitting by herself on a park bench. we went over. ”merhaba! englishi?” all we got back was an adamant shaking of a head “no” and was basically told to scram and sit on another bench, in turkish. (we got the jist by the “sweeping-away” hand motions and violent pointing to the empty bench across the way). we wondered as we wandered for a bit, until we came to a starbucks. in the back sat a woman on a computer. we decided “this is it!” plus the table had plugs so i could charge up my computer battery. and would you believe it … the woman spoke fluent english! and was willing to talk! and was super super cool! we had an amazing three hour discussion about EVERYTHING. where to get a good turkish bath and foam massage scrub down. the current political state of turkey (not good). hypnotic birthing (very good). islam. the evil eye. kabbalah. she’s an ob-gyn, and a cultural muslim, who has decided to give up her practice in turkey b/c of the radical new muslim government who won’t allow her to perform abortions. and how she’s super into holistic healing and pain-free labor by hypnosis (girls, ask me about this offline … very intriguing). and how she loves allah in her heart and doesn’t need the “external” practices (kneeling and listening, fasting, etc). and even though she follows islam, she likes to take other things from other religions and make them her own (she was wearing a red kabbalah bracelet) and that she very much likes the concept of J coming from a virgin. i got the sense that she is a great reflection of the modern, intellectual muslim. the 40%. (it’s a 60/40 divide right now between traditional muslims and modern muslims). please p for her. she already facebooked me (yeah!) and now we are official friends b/c facebook said so. she really liked us and we hope to connect with her another time this week.
ok. it’s so super late here. about 2am, and i HAVE TO GET TO MY DREAMSACK. i can not nod off in team d again. love and miss you all. turkey is awesome. wish you were here (with a bag of food from gramercy tavern and houstons). xxoo.
no, bagat street, like the capital of Iraq … you know, bagdat. July 19, 2009
happy L’s Day! today i became a little more smarter … and skipped the 8am breakfast call. i slept like a baby in my dreamsack until 8:40am, until my iphone alarm went off. i got up, threw on my m wear, washed the face, brushed the teeth, pulled my hair back and tumbled into room 201 for the morning team d. even though i love the view from the otel terrace where breakfast (= eastern european bread YUM, butter, jam, honey, watermelon, cheese, granola, olives and chai) is served, the extra hour of sleep was worth about a dozen strawberry frosted dunkin donuts and one waffle with a scrambled egg on top from manhattan diner. this morning, mike read the 63 names of people at park getting b in lake michigan this morning. sweet!! then, after a nice time of sharing and b reading, we headed off to church at apk, a harrowing 7 minute minibus ride away. the service was all in turkish and we were supposed to “spread” out in the pews (which, were NOT nailed to the ground, FYI) as to not overwhelm the congregants by our … um … american-ness. the c was amazing and great and more than a small miracle. established about 10 years ago, it now has 65 members. most of them CFMB, like if someone tells you they work for “coke-a-cola” they me). carlos, the founding p, is spanish and moved here from spain about 15 years ago, for the specific m of planting an ec in istanbul. now, two Turkish men are pastoring it and Carlos preaches when needed, but is mostly happy with playing the bongos during worship and mentoring them. it’s essential that the christian church here is run by TURKISH nationals, not westerners. in fact, many turkish churches don’t even want western christian expats attending, unless they speak fluent turkish, instead they send them to the international church on the european side. this is mostly due to the unique dynamic involved with the nationalistic muslim culture. and they think americans smell funny.
the service was amazing and just really helped us remember that we are all baptized into ONE church. we even sang “as the deer”, i think … like i said before, it was ALL in turkish. and this is ONLY our 2nd day here. and we all went to bed quite late last night … so you can probably figure what that meant … there were a lot of bobbing heads during the sermon. my plan of attack was to break out my bible and journal and try to read / meditate on my own. mostly it just ended up as a cover to keep my head bowed so i could go in and out of sleep (the kind of sleep where you immediately start dreaming. fun!). after the service we all headed downstairs (yes, the sanctuary was on the top level of what used to be an old house) and jade and I took a bunch of this delicious and nutritious homemade banana bread and stuffed it in her extra ziploc bag to save for later. along with pocketing food, we were supposed to be networking with the people there. so erin and i tried talking to lydia. the 13 year old daughter of Carlos. even though she spoke great english, she was pretty much unenthused to be “making conversation” with us and bolted at her first opportunity. sigh. though i did have a nice chat with timor (one of turkish pastors) about redeemer and beginning the (slow but steady) conversation about how we can partner with his church in the future. apparently the turkish are very type B and thrive, deal and wheel over relationships, not just business transactions. so you can imagine my head trying not to explode as i tried my hardest to get specifics …
back at the otel we gathered again in room 201 for another debrief where i managed to call Jesus a “zamboni” in turkish. then we were set loose on streets of maltepe, armed with turkish phrase books and handful of altentepe kilisesi business cards.
“hi. i’m abby. and i’m here visiting my turkish friends in altentepe. i want to learn about your culture and explore istanbul. my turkish friends work at a church. would you like to come to a bbq we are hosting next saturday night at the church?”
we ended up hooking up with two girls at the starbucks by the sea. erin, the fearless, went straight up to them, “merhaba!!! englishi? englishi??”, nodding her cute little head and flashing a winning you-can-trust-me-really! smile, while the rest of us pretended to be interested in the display of coffee mugs nearby. that girl has balls of steel. they invited us to sit down with them and all five (erin, jade, alicia, kate and moi) of us descended on them like Jesus vultures. but they were gracious, more gracious than we deserved, probably. and we ended up spending the majority of the night with them. after a great chat at the starbucks by the sea, they took us in two separate cabs to bagat street (bagdad street, in english). ok. so after going there, i realized we are most definitely staying on the wrong side of the tracks. bagat street had EVERYTHING from a zara to topshop to starbucks, a chic burger joint and TWO GLORIA JEANS. WHAT?????? they took us all around, mostly hoping that we would buy some other stuff to wear while we are here other than our ministry wear. i think they felt sorry for us. especially b/c both of them worked in fashion production for tesco (the UK chain store). by the time we left them, we were still wearing our skirts and full coverage tops, but had many great conversations (both cultural muslims) and a great connection, hopefully meeting up later in the week (and btw: can i say, how flexible and nice turkish people are??? totally changing plans and hanging out with complete strangers on a sunday night, when tomorrow they have to work! i’ll admit, i would NEVER do that in nyc.) … we took a cab back to the wrong side of town and had another turkish pizza party to celebrate our first “connection”. pls pray that we will be bold tomorrow. and loving. jade and i feel “called” to that part of the city and specifically that street. we think we will set up shop at one of the huge coffee shops around there. we realized that is the best way to find turkish woman, who know a little bit of english, and are in the mood and setting to have a chat. time to hit the dreamsack … xxoo.
the title of today’s post is in honor of Jade and JR: “Big Mamas in the Swamp” July 18, 2009
i sighed and looked up, “i don’t think i know you”.
He whispered back with a smile, ” you never really did”.
and i slid my feet off the bar of the ferry , leaned over, off the bench and stared hard into the seafoam green bosphorous.
through the churnning water i was suprised by a sea of tiny clear jellyfish. their bodies as transparent as my heart.
and i knew it was going to be okay.
*
the wind was hot and whipped through my hair. i shoved it out of my face and focused on the tall spires. squinting into the sun.
somewhere behind me i heard the fountain, and kids clamoring for a freshly made lollipop from the red coated, fez hat lollipop man.
and for a moment, i lost myself in the crazy beautiful feeling it is to be in a place so new, so foreign, so … old.
i took a deep breath and then tried harder to sink deeper into the feeling, wanting to save it, so i could remember it when i’m 80.
*
stepping up on the marble stone, i said to myself, “this is probably the oldest relic of the ancient orthodox church you have ever stepped on. sweet!” and i smiled. imagining my c fathers in this land, thousands of years ago and how it all started. then started up the steep ancient passageway to the second floor. trying to pretend that i wasn’t me. and it wasn’t 2009.
*
they giggled, and i laughed hard. harder than anyone, and reached for my camera. wanting to capture the moment. capture the friendships. and i thought about how, only 48 hours ago i hardly knew them. and how, in such a short time, i have seen their hearts, loving what i found. and was so, so , so glad that G picked me to share this … all of this … with them.
*
(and i confirmed that my most favorite thing to do is share amazing, deep conversation, peppered with a LOT of laughter over a great meal, in a great place. thx Jade and JR!)
maltepe nights July 17, 2009
sorry for the bad layout but i’m too tired and it’s too late to figure out how to make it all look pretty. the good news, other than that C died for our s’s, is that we made it to Istanbul! In one piece! No mishaps! NO LOST LUGGAGE! No barfing from air or minibus sickness! No lost limbs! Amazing and just one of the many small blessings that we have received already in our short time here. i’m typing this from the floor of my room at the Grand Maltepe Otel which is turkish for “Grand Maltepe Hotel” (the one plug in the room is too far from my bed. Good thing i packed my yoga mat! Jade (the most amazing and awesome roommate and FRIEND EVER – more on that later) is already passed out in her dreamsack. So the rundown is that we arrived. ALL OUR LUGGAGE arrived. then we took a minibus an hour and 15 minutes into the depths of “real” istanbul to maltepe where they deposited us at our otel. (can’t figure out if it’s really called an “otel” or if the “h” just fell off the sign). we got settled and then hit the town for some dinner. which was really great. fresh diced tomatoes, cucumber and peppers tossed in olive oils and herbs, some cheesy bread stuff and a pita covered with some sort of spicy meat. basically the turkish version of salad, cheesesticks and a thin crust pizza. afterwards we all took a walk to the city center where we ran into a municipal festival with live music and folk dancing. we watched with jetlagged eyes for about 10 minutes then decided to hit the road and walk back to our hotel rooms. on the way donna bought each of our rooms a huge jug of water. jade and i are using it brush our teeth. overly cautious? yes. of course. i hate throwing up!!!!!!!!! i’ll have to post a picture of our a food stash later. donna saw it and said it was “ok” but we still aren’t allowed to go to starbucks or dominos pizza. (oh, btw, there was a gloria jeans at the ataturk airport! what????? seriously??? a gloria jeans???? so there is franchise at ptown’s northwoods mall … and ataturk airport???) erin (who is from central illinois as well) and i thought it was hilarious.
oh, and here is a picture of the whole team. allow me to introduce you. team, met my blog readers. blog readers, meet my team. from left, around the back of the table to the right is: scott (m’s p at park), alicia, kevin, JR KERR (singles p at park and my old college friend! we totally went to TU together! ha! we are indulging in a LOT of cathartic TU “remember when”), mike, erin, jade, kate, holly and donna (senior p’s wife). we are all ready for the turkish pizza party. everyone is so super cool … and i’m going to give the BIGGEST shout out to my friend JADE, who organized the MOST AMAZING thing ever. surprise notes from friends! i got courtni’s today when we arrived and then kathy kellers tonight after dinner. i’ll admit i teared up. number one. it’s just the most incredible thing to read unexpected, soulful words from some of the people who mean the most to me in my whole life. and it’s just the most incredible thing for jade to do for me. if nothing else comes out of this trip than the encouragement i’ve already received (from all of yoU), meeting these amazing people from park who’s hearts are ON FIRE for C, and now my “surprises” … i would be more than set. one of my p’s for this trip, on a personal level, would be that G would humble me. Good going G! Great start!!!!!! tomorrow my skirt will probably fall off someway or another infront of everyone and then project “humble abby” will be complete. ok. i totes have to hit the dreamsack. i’m off to bed. more later. xxoo.
… and i’m off July 17, 2009
no picture. i can’t upload the amazing photograph i took of my BA inflight meal. it’s stuck in my iphone. but i am live-blogging straight from terminal 5, h. it’s just like i remember it, only better. sigh. in fact there is a full fledge harrods behind me. i just went in to freshen up. a little jo malone spritz, kiehl’s lotion, and a full clubbing face of mac makeup. istanbul, i’m ready to ROCK.
the flight was awesome. well, i thought it was awesome and so far, everyone has complimented me on my “fresh” face and “spunky” morning attitude. i can’t tell if it’s a compliment or not. i watched ”i love you, man” on the way over. hil.a.rious. jade said that everytime i laughed the guy sitting across the aisle would give me a “loooook”. dude, it’s was funny!!!
anyway, it’s super fun to be reunited with my park friends and now the team is complete. i have my british diet coke and a new turkish phrase book, compliments of donna. our flight to istanbul departs in an hour, so i’m off to lurk around the molton brown counter and hope they offer me a neck massage. international m is such hard work. xxoo.
